So I feel like Im at a crossroads in my life. Is there such a thing as a mid-mid-life crisis. because if there is thats what Im having. Dont get me wrong I LOVE 75% of my life, as in all things Joe, Ben, and Grace, the part I cant stand right now is the me part. I feel like theres is so much I want to do, so much Im capable of, so much I should be doing and yet Im not doing any of it. Id love to be contributing to our family finances in some way. I hate not being able to buy my kids amd husband the things they want when they want them. I would love to go back to school. I KNOW Im an intelligent person and could acheive any degree I wanted to, but then the question of "What exactly is it I want to do?" comes up and Im back at square one.
I've been pondering the "What do I want to be when I grow-up" question alot lately and I still have no idea. Things I enjoy include- yoga, raising babies, cleaning, creating for my family a green/clean lifestyle, praying, and party planning. Things I would like to expand on- my desire to craft/sew, my love of all things historical, and a massage lisence. And finally things Im good at- I could talk to post, cooking, and making babies. Ok beloved friends and family how do I take all these things and create a career out of it? Is there even such a career? I feel like Im not making any real contributions to my family or the world around and its got to change.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Ok. Im going to try this whole blogging thing AGAIN. For me blogging has turned out to be alot like The House of The Seven Gables. Ever read it? Yea, I wouldnt recommend it- and thats saying something because Ill read anything even the back of a soup can. I have picked that book up at least a dozen times if not more. Bound and determined that THIS will be the time that I stick to it and finish it. I have the first chapter memorized verbatim. And the furthest Ive ever read is 3/4 of the way through. Since the first time I picked it up at age 11 I have yet to read the whole thing. It just doesnt grab my attention like The Hunger Games did. I force myself to continue because I feel like its something I SHOULD read. What warm blooded American hasnt read that book, right? And yet I cant do it I hate that stupid book. It is a bane (I think thats the right word) to my existence. Much like blogging. I always start out gung-ho, "Yes Im gonna do this! And eventually some poor sod will pay me for my thoughts and it will be glorious." And then reality strikes and I remember that #1 I hate to write and #2 I wouldnt be able to spell if my last name was Webster. So it too gets laid aside and constantly nags at me that its something I SHOULD be doing. I mean I started it I should finish it. If there ever is a real end to blogging. But out of the 2 things I think in the right circumstances and with the right motivation and material I could enjoy blogging. I will NEVER enjoy The House of the Seven Gables, so blogging it is :) My current focus is going to be on my attempt to help other embrace the clean-eating lifestyle, my kids, my own weight-loss journey, my constant attempt to live a greener lifestyle, my walk with Christ, and finally my endeavour to become a massage therapist and yoga instructor. Pray with my that my motivation sticks and I can keep you all updated on the journey. I know you're all rooting for me this time ;)